Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
