you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is wine microwaveable?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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