who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
