like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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