you guys were way drunker than both of me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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