It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
