I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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