where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
