My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
