Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
