I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
