Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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