I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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