Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize