oh god the rape fog is back!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
