1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
