her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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