the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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