this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
worst night to have a conscience
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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