so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
