If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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