bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Success! We fucked roommates!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
