I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We just shotgunned beers for America
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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