Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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