she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
