And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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