I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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