The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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