What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
