There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
