all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
not ubering you a puppy
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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