I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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