he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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