I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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