Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
