Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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