youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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