I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
