So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
