Quick, to the slutcave!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
