we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
