idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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