Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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