I cockslap morals
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
