I showed him my bush... on skype.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Couch. On fire.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
