Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
