i was rollin on her like bob the builder
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
