You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
