I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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