I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
