i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
