i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
