Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
