i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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