Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
