Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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