My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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