i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
