Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
