i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
