What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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